2 Words...Potty Training.


Where do I even start with this topic? Maybe how I got this brilliant idea to start it? Well, I am ashamed to tell you that it all began because I did not want to be THAT Mom who was the last to potty train their child. No seriously. Potty training is really all about me ya know. But really though. Before we started the potty thing, she would tell me at Target wearing her diapers that she had to potty and I would tell her that we didn't have time, just go in your diaper. I know, Mom of the year right here. Also I am the one who would be doing 99% of the training and that alone is super scary and overwhelming so who wants to do that?? I came up with so many excuses as to when we would start and why she wasn't ready but the only problem was me. We are in gymnastics class with several kids around the same age as Rowan and I noticed a little girl not much older than her come in with undies on. So I began to fish around about how old was the child, how did they do, and was it as awful as everyone says. I really asked every single parent I ran into from then on. You could call me the potty investigator. Haha. Then one day a little boy came into class and his mother mentioned that they were "commando" and potty training. So now and BOY and a GIRL were trained before my child? How can this be? I asked her how she started and she said that she was reading the "Oh, Crap" book and it was working. I immediately went home and Googled it, bought it for my iPad and told myself I am going to start potty training....soon. That was Wednesday. I look at my calendar and start to pick out dates to start....and I can't find a single date that gives me 3 days at home. Crazy huh? I am a stay at home mom and I can't find 3 days at home. Weird. I mean trips to Target count right? If you know me, shhh MOM don't say anything, you can't tell me nothing. I can do it and I will do it, my own way and I will make a way.

So Friday comes along and after sitting down to read "Oh, Crap" I figured now is the best time, even though we are leaving for Minnesota the following weekend, she will already be trained by then right? Pants came off Friday at 3pm. Literally. As I Β start to read it, I feel like this is just a guide and so I start to skim further into the book to find what I really need to know since I clearly know everything already. Haha. For the first few times at the potty, she did great! She peed like a champ! I couldn't believe it! And I kept thinking, well we are done right? That was easy. Not so fast. We got the pee part down but what about the poop? I kept her in dresses with no undies on because I am not going to look like a "bad mom" and let my child run around naked outside. Remember this is all about me :) No poop on Day 1, surely it would be coming on Day #2. Yep, it came alright. Outside by her swing set in the grass and she was so proud! Ok, at least it was outside so it was easy clean up. Thanks kid. If that was the worst thing, we are still surviving pretty well. Day #3. Because I know everything and do not follow advice until I am desperate, I never stayed home with her to train her because who has time for that? I was anxious as heck and I now know where every bathroom is in every place I go! Off to Nana's she went. This mama needed a break and Nana was also graced with a turd outside too :) Haha. The dogs have taught her well. Day #4, me alone with her again while daddy worked. She was awake for a hot minute until I smelled poop. This time it was not so convenient. Caught up in her skin tight jammie's....into the tub she went. 8:00 am, and outfit change #1 not sure why but I decided to put shorts on her with no undies today instead of a dress, but I did. Maybe because I assumed she had this pee thing down. I Let her play outside for a minute and saw a small puddle of water on my deck? Hmmm Rowan what is that? I peed. Seriously? Yep, so back inside for pants change #2. Go back to what I am doing and come back outside to another small puddle next to the first one....ummm what is that? Did the dog mark her territory and pee too? Nope. Outfit change #3. Oh man, it is only 8:30 am and I am loosing this battle hard! It is not even 9am and I want to hit up a patio for a glass of wine!! So sheepishly I pulled out that book that I thought I didn't need and skimmed right for the get my child to poop chapter and why all of a sudden is she regressing!!! HELP ME!! After the book calmed me down, I put her back into a dress without undies. I felt a sense of defeat. I finally broke down and made a stupid sticker chart that everyone said to do while thinking this is a waste of time and not worth it but let me tell you, she loves to put that sticker up like "look at me". We were fighting for the control and she was winning and she knew it. We had no problems the rest of the day but we can not get this poop thing down.

Sooooo what do Mom's do when we want our kids to do something?? We bribe them, well at least I do :) Since the whole "let your poop go swimming" thing wasn't working and I thought I better find another term since it was the start of pool season and I do NOT want to be the one that makes everyone clear the pool due to a floating turd. The sticker chart wasn't working for poop, I had to think of something she really wanted. Oh, I know. A crab. Yes, you heard me right. My 2.5 year old wants a hermit crab thanks to the mall kiosk where she has to hold one every single time we go. BINGO! "Ok Rowan, you poop in the potty and we will go to the mall and you can get a hermit crab and bring it home." Literally the next morning, she pooped on the potty before gymnastics and immediately said, "let's go get the crab." Oh crap. She remembered. A deal is a deal.

We are now the proud owners of Daisy the hermit crab and also I am a sucker because she still won't poop in the toilet. It is either in her pants or outside. WHY WHY WHY! I am a pretty open person when it comes to talking about bathroom habits and I can't imagine her feeling embarrassed about it. I even make up stupid songs like "poo poo in the potty" and sing them to her! LOL

As for that Minnesota trip, it was a 36 hour weekend for a wedding that Rowan was the flower girl for! Imagine my terror when I realized we had to drive 4 hours with her and I had to let her walk down the isle with no underwear on....I really really contemplated putting a diaper back on her for that 30 minutes. But I didn't. We took the potty in the car and let her use it when she had to go, which was twice. I put a puppy training pad on her car seat to catch any accidents that may occur. Best idea ever, even though we didn't need it :) We only had 1 poo accident and 1 potty incident. Not too shabby for all of that travel and craziness! She walked down the isle like a pro and we have decided that she makes such a cute flower girl, we will now be renting her out for weddings :)

Well we are on day 14 and we are still working on it. We have the pee down, it's the crap I can't handle. Time to pick up the book again as now I see where the title came from. Very clever. As for the bribe, well Daisy the hermit crab was eaten by our Goldendoodle :( I am currently working on my next bribe! I just keep telling myself, it will happen, she will do it....and I am still waiting.

All I know is that I have some great photos and stories to tell her when she is older about how potty training went and what is better that making memories and remembering how we all survived! Again, people with more that 1 child....you are seriously all saints!

Cheers! Yes I will be having a glass of wine :)

Confessions of a so Called "Runner"

I love to run, but I would consider myself a fair weather runner. The weather just right, little to no wind, and I choose how many miles I want to do. Usually 3-5 is my favorite. I don't want to be forced to run or always have a looming agenda of a run waiting to be done. Most of you know I signed up for my first marathon this fall here in Des Moines, Iowa. As you also may know, I have been super whiny, lazy, and hating almost every minute of it but I am NOT a quitter. Especially after already running 17 miles. So I am going to suck it up and give you a little insight to what goes through my crazy brain as I train for this crazy race!During the week I have been doing my short runs pushing my baby in her BOB and I quit following a training plan when I started to burn out....after my first long run! Haha I bought a Garmin watch to track my time and distance for my long runs because running with a phone is awful. I did have a goal of running the race in under 4 hours but have adjusted my expectations to just finish the race. My long runs fall on a weekend which sucks because I want to look forward to my weekend, not run and spend the other day recovering. Yes I am whining. I swear even though I wear headphones and focus on putting one foot in front of the other, my brain doesn't shut off! It's actually quite hysterical what I say to myself or think, and most of it is too funny not to share. Maybe I am the only looney runner :) but I doubt that. I have runs where I start off in a bad mood, mad about everything. Usually because I don't want to run or I am hacked off at something else. Nothing bugs me more than the transition between the sidewalks and the roads. Why does there need to be a huge bump? Seriously! So my run ends up being, slow down, BUMP, stop, go....annoying. (Remember I am pushing a buggy.) Yes, I know there are plenty of trails that are ideal for running but I watch a lot of Dateline and trail running alone is a no no :) Another thing that irritates me is the trees, bushes, and mud/rocks. Our city is taking out trees, replanting them, putting in benches but can't seem to trim the existing brush covering the sidewalks? Im telling you, when I run this is what gets my goat. The last thing that makes me shake my head is how others can't share the sidewalk. If you are on a bike, go in the grass. Do not try to brush sweaty elbows with me as I run by you and then we both end up in grass. If you are another pedestrian, keep over or don't get mad at me when I scare your pants off as I scream HI when I come up from behind :) and if you are a car....go back to drivers ed! I swear I about get hit at least once a week....crazy. HONKING. Why people? First off you scare the crap out of me and I need that wasted rush of adrenaline for the next 10 or so miles. Flattering? Sure but I am an old married hag and sometimes pushing a sleeping baby in a buggy...that must be hot. And if you wake her, I may follow you home. Kidding. I get honks from all walks of life and it's actually like a game to guess what they look like as they pull along side me. Fellas, eat your hearts out :) Running with headphones has its advantages and last Saturday I discovered its disadvantages. Im running along, enjoying the mile I am completing when I about hit the deck and wet my shorts due to the "shots" being fired! Nope. Just a construction crew using their air guns. Whew close call, and another waste of my much needed adrenaline. I am not always mad or angry, I promise. I usually enjoy my runs and sometimes it just takes one simple thing to keep me going. Whether it's a text, a tweet, a message, a song, or my hubby driving by me just to wave or bring me water. I have asked him to take a picture of me running to see how bad I look as I am slowly dying! Haha he refused. I may think I look good but I probably look like a dog needing water. No joke. I love running along with my iPod on shuffle so I never know what song is coming next! It's like Christmas all over again after every song. Music has a special and unique way of making you feel alive! While my milkshake may bring all the boys to the yard, because I move my body like a Cyclone, in reality...All my Exes Live in Texas :) See it is fun. You know what's not a joke is I will get to a certain point in my morning run when I start to scan the bushes for a "spot" just in case I need to visit them. You other runners know what I am talking about, and if you haven't looked for a "spot" you are either too awesome or lying :) When the urge fades it's just another hurdle under your belt, literally. The running fuel has room for improvement. GU? A mouthful of warm slime that you swish around to avoid swallowing until you muster up the courage to do it. I only eat the chocolate fudge and tell myself it's brownie batter :) I started trying the Cliff shot blocks and I like them but they are large. Any other suggestions would be appreciated! On a lighter note, one of my favorite things about running in the midwest....we are friendly! No matter how much we are struggling we manage to squeak out a hello, a good morning, or a wave. I have hit the pavement several places and states and while the scenery may be better elsewhere, I would pick friendly people over that any day! Let's all get something straight here. Just because you run doesn't make you a runner and doesn't mean you are fit enough to be running without a shirt. Come on. If you are David Beckham then ok, if you are not, spare us or at least me. Sweaty, hairy, man boobs shifing with each step is not on my 100 things to see before I die list. Now don't think it's just the men. Ladies can be just as oblivious to how their pancakes are folded up in their bra or what piece of skin is jiggling, but believe me, every other runner and driver knows. This is a public service announcement :) ( I am not roll or jiggle free, this I know is true!) Oh the smells of running. I am starting to learn what the different fabric softeners smell like and which perfume/colognes are what....why wear it when you run/walk? I swear some douse themselves in White Diamonds before they leave, making me gag for the next 20 yards after passing them. I would agree it is probably better than smelling like raw onions. I should just pick my poison huh? That car driving by smoking? Yep thanks for sharing! Exactly the boost I was looking for. And my favorite....running by resturants. I want to barf at the smell of anything food/drink that early in the morning or as I am running. Perkins, Burger King, and leftover alcohol from the local bar, just a few of my favorites. Where I find my motivation sometimes comes from thinking about people I know or don't know as I am running. I mean if SHE can run a marathon, I can too! Or that person is older than me, fatter than me, skinnier than me, and they can do it, why can't I?! I know it is wrong but really my brain doesn't stop and I am not judging, I am just basically telling myself to suck it up. I never understood why or how people get "addicted" to running and I finally get it. Sitting inside knowing I should run, eats at me until I go do it. It has gotten so bad, this running thing, I actually have restless leg syndrome at night in bed if I don't run. ( self diagnosed of course.) I told my hubby to watch out for runners in bed and he didn't know what I meant until he kept getting kicked....now how do I un-train my legs?! The best and last motivating thing I do as I am running my long runs is thinking of what I want to indulge in after I finish. So far it has been pizza, a milkshake, Cinnabun, and donuts! All super healthy and great recovery food. Anyways, after October 19th, I plan on going back to being a fair weather runner. For now I will be like Forest and just keep running. Next time you see me wave or honk ;) "Believe me, the reward is not so great without the struggle." - Wilma Rudolph