Since before I can remember people have been asking me when was I going to have a baby. You know exactly what I am talking about. It all starts after you graduate high school with, where are you going to college? When are you getting engaged? When are you getting married? And on and on and on. Really? I am starting to believe that people really have nothing else to talk with you about so they blurt out crap, kinda like that awkward moment when you are talking about the weather with someone. Boring. Do you really care when all that happens for someone? Hey, I am totally guilty of this and will be the first to admit it. I don't really care when you get married or have kids or if you don't have kids. I am just happy that you are happy but that's as far as it goes. I honestly can't wrap my head around why people feel the need to tell me I can't just have one child, I should have more, and I don't want them to be an only child. Newsflash! They clearly do not know me! God gave me one baby girl and knows my heart is full. Just because my arms are not full of kids doesn't mean I need to fill em. I would like to know if they are coming home with me to care for them, pay for them, and play with them? Not every only child is an unsocialized nerd. Plus I love nerds, I married one! Just because you tell me I should have more doesn't make me want to do it again, I promise. And when you ask me now that she is getting older, doesn't it make me want another? H E double hockey sticks no. One little girl that could potentially be like me is plenty good. Enough already. People, yes I gave birth, well kind of, and yes this kid is mine. Mall walking has opened my eyes to a whole other world of stupidity. People ask me daily, is that your baby? I smile and say "yes she is mine", but what I really want to say is no, I stole her from the play area. Why would I be smooching on someone elses baby? If it is a ploy to get me to stop walking so you can peek at her, it doesn't work, my Keds keep on pushing forward. I mean seriously, I don't look 12 years old, I am clean, I wear a wedding ring (you single Moms rock, seriously!), and I am usually holding her, why wouldn't she be mine? Enough already.
To add to the above pet peeve, I am really at a loss for words when I am told that I am so skinny, how did I have a baby. Well, I gained less than 20lbs, she came 4 weeks early, I breastfeed, and I watch my intake, but instead I manage to let out a "ha thanks." Thanks? Awkward in the least. What the heck else do you say? I find it polite and flattering when a woman can compliment another woman or when they simply say, "you look great." Thank you. Not like the loud lady in Godiva as I am standing in a line of 6 people buying overpriced Valentine candy yells out, " I hope you adopted that baby, you are skinny!" Ummm nope she is mine. "But you look like you never had a kid and you're buying chocolates." Thanks for noticing the obvious, I have had a soild 3 months to loose 15 lbs people, stop the madness. What would you say if I hadn't lost the weight? Or geeze am I too skinny? My old clothes fit me just fine, nothing has changed, well nothing has changed about my waistline. Enough already.
"Oh my gosh she is so tiny!" Another one that gets my goat. I feel like a total piece of crap for not having a "healthy" looking baby. I know she is healthy and growing perfectly on her own curve but why would I ever care what anyone says? Maybe because everyone points it out. Obviously they have not noticed how "skinny" I am (sarcasm) and clearly haven't seen her Daddy! Haha. She is petite. But once again I find it necessary to tell people that she came 4 weeks early everytime. Then I get a "Oooohhhh that makes more sense," comment from them like they all have medical degrees or something. I just commented on a Facebook post today about her still being in size 1 diapers and how guilty I was feeling about it. I have great friends and now feel much better about it but see how easy it is to get that new Mom thinking she isn't doing something right by your stupid comments? Enough already. I am almost over the stares I get when she is crying, almost. Enough already.
Well my skinny butt needs to end this blog post and feed my growing baby genius so she can show off at her next doctors appointment. Nap time and rant time is over. We both feel much better :) Until next time....